By Doink Ahanahue
Several witnesses confirmed to The Minstrel that earlier this week, a student entered Campbell Hall for some reason.
The identity of this student remains unclear, leaving bystanders to speculate about whom exactly the student was and what the student, or anyone, really, could need to do in Campbell Hall.
“It was the strangest thing I’ve seen all year,” said sophomore art appreciation major Luke Lemon. “I didn’t think that building was used for anything at all. I thought it was just, you know, there.”
Some who were at the scene offered theories as to what one might do in Campbell Hall.
“Don’t they have like a little gym in there?” asked Lemon’s friend Zephyr Teachout of the smallest and least impressive building on campus. “You know, a workout space like the one in McShea, but even smaller, if that’s possible?”
“I think that must be where the faculty holds their meetings,” said junior physician assistant major Dave Matthew-Zband. “It’s natural they would hold meetings on neutral territory and that building doesn’t belong to any of the divisions, I have to assume.
“But what would a student be doing at a faculty meeting?” Matthew-Zband then wondered aloud.
Rumors spread throughout the week about this mysterious choice, and the two prevailing theories are now that Campbell Hall has classrooms in it and occasionally holds a class, or that the student in question was just looking for a place to study that was sure to be silent.
“Whatever the building is or isn’t used for, it’s a waste of space,” said Lemon. “They should tear it down and use that plot of land to build the natatorium everyone wants… that is, unless there’s already a swimming pool inside. Who even knows?”
Did we fool you? If you are still unaware, this article is purely fictional and was written to for our annual April Fools issue. Post a status or tweet @TheMinstrelDSU and tell us which April Fools article is your favorite!
This purely fictional article was originally published in Issue 12, Fiftieth Year of The Minstrel (April 1, 2016). Click here to view the entire April Fools issue.