April Fools: Trump to Teach Business Class at DeSales

By Katie Halfnight
Staff Writer

EC-400 Replaced with “Make America Great Again” Course

The course catalog for the fall 2016 semester will offer a new class in the business department entitled “Make America Great Again.” The course will be taught by none other than Donald J. Trump, and will replace Global Economic Issues.

DeSales University is thrilled to add Trump to the intelligent and well- rounded professors that the institution has, with high hopes that the new course will gain popularity over the next few months.

Junior physician assistant major Mackenzie Kelly believes that Trump is going to be the best thing for this private Catholic institution.

Trump will teach in the PPL EnergyPlus Trading Wing of the Gambet Center, as seen above. Photo by Katie Halfnight.
Trump will teach in the PPL EnergyPlus Trading Wing of the Gambet Center, as seen above.
Photo by Katie Halfnight.

“Honestly, Trump is one of the most articulate and well-informed individuals in the state,” said Kelly. “Look at Trump University for example. His school was such a ground-breaking idea that it failed because people weren’t ready for it yet. A man like that is a man we need teaching at our school.”

Although the course description for EC-400 covers a variety of “major global economic issues,” Trump intends to only focus the course on issues such as deportation and global warming.

“It’s not global warming anymore. They will say it all the time, it’s called climate change. Don’t you know? And I just, you know, I just can’t tweet too much. I do have other things to do. But it was a genius move. A friend of mine said climate change, climate change, is genius, because it really covers everything. It goes high, it goes low, it doesn’t matter. So that’s it,” said Trump when asked about what his course would entail.

“Make America Great Again” will also focus strongly on the topic of immigration, since it is not only a global issue, but an issue that is close to Trump’s core beliefs.

“We have to start by building a wall, a big beautiful, powerful wall. It can have a gate, it can have a door. We’ll let people in legally, but we have to stop what’s happening to our country, because we’re losing our country,” said Trump, while explaining what students have to look forward to learning in the upcoming semester.

Another facet to this course that will differ from any other class offered at DeSales, is that it will be strictly lecture based. None of the students that are enrolled will be given the chance to speak or have input in the course content, because Trump already knows that your knowledge and opinions are wrong.

A new school year brings new change, and for the student body of DeSales University, that change comes in the form of Donald J. Trump. The one thing that we can predict as a certainty is that having Trump as a professor in the fall semester can do nothing but make DeSales great again.

Did we fool you? If you are still unaware, this article is purely fictional and was written to for our annual April Fools issue. Post a status or tweet @TheMinstrelDSU and tell us which April Fools article is your favorite!

This purely fictional article was originally published in Issue 12, Fiftieth Year of The Minstrel (April 1, 2016). Click here to view the entire April Fools issue.

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